Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Dear Jerome;

Hey you! *sigggh* I dont even know what to call you anymore. I would really love to keep you as my besst, but like all relationships, its not a relationship if there is only one person doing all the work. Its tiring. Hoping that youll always be there for me, even if in fact, I know you wont be. You dont know how much I need you most of the time. But youre never there. Why did you have to drift from me? WHY. WHY. WHY. Fuck.

Dear Marco;

Remember those days when you were the main guy in my life. When I couldnt turn to anyone, and you were there? Remember those days where we would never run out of things to say? Where we would talk despite the time difference and the distance. Remember when we both knew the most out of each others' lives? Now, we dont know a single thing and we cant even have a decent conversation. What happened? Where is my father dearest?

Dear Quynh;

Hi sister. I miss you, like so much. And I know that youre a pretty busy woman. Haha, you've always been the busiest person I knew. And well, since youre so busy, and well, Im pretty busy, but not really haha, we havent talked since when? That last time we webcammed? That was the last real talk we had. And you know what? I miss our talks.

To the three of you, I dont understand why we had to drift. Especially you three. The one who I thought would always be there for me. Its.... sad :( Especially for me, and I think Im the only one sad about it.

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

I guess there's no one but myself? For always putting myself down. Never having enough trust in myself. Never believing in myself. Never being good enough....

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Person I hate most - I dont think there is one. But maybe like Ms. Cathy said, its my personality to always see the best in people. So maybe there is someone but I just cant convince myself to hate you? Anyways, just do whatever the fuck you wanna do. Cause what makes me hate you wont do anything to make you want to change, so fuck it. I'll just do whatever and you do whatever. Peace sucka. It aint like Im gonna see you in the future anyway. Deuces

Person that caused me a lot of pain - Hey Lyndon. Yes, its you that I'm putting on here. Even if whatever that never happened between us was my fault, it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. You knew me. You knew that when I fall for someone, I fell hard. And when I fell for you, then you just left me hanging? You don't know how suicidal I was. I was literally cutting myself every chance I could. I wasn't thinking straight. I cried myself to sleep. I cried in the bathroom in the nights you didnt call. You sent me spiraling down an unhealthy path. I was glad that Jazmin and them were there for me to get my shit together. Whenever I heard Lyndon, the words pain, hurt, and suffering was all I could think of. When I think of my Hayward life, you're always at the top of the list, not number one but definitely there. Our memories are bittersweet. At first they were nothing but great moments. You are the one that gave me the lesson of heartbreak. Even if we were technically never together. Thanks for making me a stronger person. Thanks for showing me the dangers out there when it comes to love. But you see, the thing is, I think it's because of you, I don't let people in as much anymore. Just a single thought of you, can break me down. Make me feel worthless. Make me feel like I was never good enough. Thanks for sticking with me through the toughest of situations. Thanks for walking me home that one night when I knew them Nortaynos would be out. Thanks for calling and giving me real talks. Thank you for telling me I was beautiful despite me convincing you I wasnt. Thanks for never giving up on me. Thanks for always looking out for me. Thanks for treating me like a princess. Thanks for knowing about me more than most people I know. Thanks for sharing all those things about you. Thanks for the memories. Even if they do hurt like a bitch. "Guess I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned". I find this as closure between us. So I can officially just stop even thinking about you. Stop bein jealous if I see a picture with you and Mela or even see you two talking. I shouldnt give less than a fuck bout it. So, for the last time, goodbye Lyndon Monsanto Martinez.

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Hi Lola. Sometimes, I miss your presence. Especially whenever I'm crying. I miss how in the summer when Kuya and Ate already had school and you knew I didnt like sleeping alone, you would let me sleep next to you. I miss you in general. With you, it felt like home. I was glad that you met Jerome though. And that he helped you that day you slipped. At least you got to meet my best friend. And well, thats a big deal to me, so thank you :) I like to think that you are up in heaven, looking out for all of us. You are our guardian angel. Don't ever think a day goes by where mom forgets you. Because i know for sure, she never will. You are and always will be in our hearts. Thanks for everything lola, I love you :)

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Kendrick - Hey kenny. I miss you. Anyways, it says someone I don't talk to as much as I would want to, and well, basically thats you. You were basically my best friend. Well, not really best. Just one of my great friends. We used to talk every night. Well, talk? More like cupcake, haha! I miss hearing you say I love you. I miss hearing you say I miss you. I just plain ol' miss and love you. Period. I don't know why we can't even have decent conversations with you. &Oh yeah, nigga stop poppin pills and getting high and whatever you've been doing with ya life. I love you and I will always always always care for you. And as for becoming my "first" idk anymore. I still wish that you were a big part of my life though. And when I visit, please make time to see me. Or maybe I can go to your house and just chill? Haha. K, I love you biatch. Even if I feel you dont give a crap bout me anymore.

Angela - You will always be my ateh. Even when we're old enough to do whatever the fuck we wanna do haha! I will always cherish our precious moments together even if there wasn't a lot. I love you and i miss you oh so much. :)

Ian - YOURE GAY FOR NOT KEEPING IN TOUCH HOE! Hahaha. I still love you though ;)

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

There are a lot of people I wish I could meet. So I guess this can go out to all of you? Hi. I'm sure whoever you are, you possess a quality which makes me want to eat you. Whether youre a good singer, dancer, a good actor/actress, or well, just plain cute. Haha! Hi, I'm Michelle & I'm a big fan :)

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Sadly, I don't think I have an internet friend :( But! There is always @sneakerbeezy. Haha. Well, Carlo, I would just like to say thank you. For liking my things on tumblr. And thanks for making me feel special when I found out I was one of your Tumblr crushes. haha! :)

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

dear ex-boyfriend

hello there. how have you been? these are simple questions that I can't even say to you. why? cause i know that it will cause a fight between you and your girlfriend. and no matter how many times i run it in my head, i still dont understand why she acts that way. okay fine sure, im your ex. but thats the thing, im an EX. which means anything we ever had, is over. and i told you i still sort of had feelings for you BEFORE you got back together with her. and once you were together again, i realized i never loved you from the start. it was like you said, infatuation. so tell your girl to stop getting her panties in a bunch bout me. and besides she should see the way you act towards other girls. your girlfriend, should be worried more about them than me, cause honey, i could give less than a fuck bout the both of you :) ktnxbye! :D

Day 6 — A stranger

Hey Stranger! My name is Michelle :) As long as you're not fake nor someone who possess things that may annoy me, I'm pretty sure we'd be great friends! Haha. I'm down-to-earth. And I'm prett-y damn chill. If we become friends, trust, I will never let you be sad. I'll do whatever it takes to light up your day :) I would really appreciate it if you approached me first cause, I'm not usually the one that makes the first move. I've been known as the friend that will always be there for you. I'm pretty awkward when I first meet people but you have to get to know me cause I'm not good when it comes to first impressions, so don't judge me by that, haha :) So stranger, if you're ready for a wild ride, then, just come and talk to me. I don't bite haha :)

http://www.prevention.com/health/fitness/find-a-workout/summer-body-shape-up/article/b9011b7ad7cb7210VgnVCM10000030281eac____/2

bitch work out! and eat less. love, yourself :) haha!

Day 5 — Your dreams

Dreams like, when I sleep? Or like hopes & dreams? Haha okay I'll do one for both.

Dear Dreams (the sleeping kind) - I love how you're always strange. You always excite me. You show me things that may never happen, but that's the thing. It's just a dream. I love how you don't show me the same dream twice. You always switch it up a bit. Oh! And i love how they always have celebrities in them! :)) Haha. Super thanks for that ;)

Dear Dreams (the other kind haha) - I dont ask for much. I dont expect much from you. So, I hope that you don't disappoint me :)

Day 4 —Your siblings

Let me just say, that ya'll all annoy me in your own different ways :) Haha! But then again, I love you all as well. I have a separate connection with all of you, aside from the main, sibling thing. Idk how to write a letter to you haha. Just know, that I LOVE ALL OF YOU. That is all :))

Day 3 — Your parents

I've already written my mom a looong letter for mother's day. So I'll just make this short. I know I may seem like nothing but a lazy, ungrateful child to you. But if I were, would I be the only child still having conversations with the both of you? Who tries to fight against her laziness just to do what you ask of her? Who does 90% of the things you tell her to do. But when I don't do that little 10%, I become the laziest child on the face of this planet. I love the both of you, always and forever.

Day 2 — Your Crush

Haha, I don't have a crush :) But would JAMES REID count :D ? Dear James Reid, my mom agreed to let me marry you. I love you and your fuxy Australian accent. Let's elope, right now :)) haha!

Day 1 — Your Best Friend(s)

Jerome - Rawr. Nair even talk anymore. It's whatevs. I understand that you're busy doing your thing, and I'm pretty busy doing mine, but that doesn't mean that we have to completely, drift. Like damn. Wtf. I know it's been two years, but when you said that I would always be your "besst" I kind of expected you to keep in touch. It's been like, a whole fcking year since you said anything, anything at all, to me. Hmph, I guess it's just sad. Cause most of the time, I get this feeling where I long for my besst to comfort me, but I get disappointed because I know, that you won't be there for me, and I'm not sure if you're ever going to be...

JEMA - I love how you guys try to keep this friendship going. But, I seriously don't know how long we can do this. I mean, I already feel this craaaazy drift between me and Jah right now, and she's basically my best friend. So, if I have a drift with her, imagine the drift there is between me and Jah, Angel, and Aimee. I love you guys to death, and no matter what, you'll always be my best friends. Always. And it kinna hurts every time I see you guys answer formspring questions when people ask, who are your best friends, and when you guys answer, I never seem to see my name. I mean, its understandable, but, that doesnt mean that it doesnt hurt. Because every time someone asks me who my best friends are, you're all there :| I dont know. I just feel like, I don't belong? Like, I might as well not be a part of JEMA. Well, if that happened, I wouldn't know what I would do with my life. Anyways, I've just always felt this, and now seemed like a goodtime to just, let it all out (as if i haven't done it before? *scroll down*) rawr. I love you with all of my heart. And hopefully, when I visit, we can rekindle this friendship.... hopefully

30 letters.

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

- hm, im thinking of doing this one here, or maybe in my personal tumblr? the one no one can see? haha!