Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Person I hate most - I dont think there is one. But maybe like Ms. Cathy said, its my personality to always see the best in people. So maybe there is someone but I just cant convince myself to hate you? Anyways, just do whatever the fuck you wanna do. Cause what makes me hate you wont do anything to make you want to change, so fuck it. I'll just do whatever and you do whatever. Peace sucka. It aint like Im gonna see you in the future anyway. Deuces

Person that caused me a lot of pain - Hey Lyndon. Yes, its you that I'm putting on here. Even if whatever that never happened between us was my fault, it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt. You knew me. You knew that when I fall for someone, I fell hard. And when I fell for you, then you just left me hanging? You don't know how suicidal I was. I was literally cutting myself every chance I could. I wasn't thinking straight. I cried myself to sleep. I cried in the bathroom in the nights you didnt call. You sent me spiraling down an unhealthy path. I was glad that Jazmin and them were there for me to get my shit together. Whenever I heard Lyndon, the words pain, hurt, and suffering was all I could think of. When I think of my Hayward life, you're always at the top of the list, not number one but definitely there. Our memories are bittersweet. At first they were nothing but great moments. You are the one that gave me the lesson of heartbreak. Even if we were technically never together. Thanks for making me a stronger person. Thanks for showing me the dangers out there when it comes to love. But you see, the thing is, I think it's because of you, I don't let people in as much anymore. Just a single thought of you, can break me down. Make me feel worthless. Make me feel like I was never good enough. Thanks for sticking with me through the toughest of situations. Thanks for walking me home that one night when I knew them Nortaynos would be out. Thanks for calling and giving me real talks. Thank you for telling me I was beautiful despite me convincing you I wasnt. Thanks for never giving up on me. Thanks for always looking out for me. Thanks for treating me like a princess. Thanks for knowing about me more than most people I know. Thanks for sharing all those things about you. Thanks for the memories. Even if they do hurt like a bitch. "Guess I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned". I find this as closure between us. So I can officially just stop even thinking about you. Stop bein jealous if I see a picture with you and Mela or even see you two talking. I shouldnt give less than a fuck bout it. So, for the last time, goodbye Lyndon Monsanto Martinez.